When I decided to quit my job, I thought life would be filled with long lunches, short days, and endless cups of tea sitting outside at cafes.
Instead, I discovered something completely different offered to me: purpose, leadership, self-development in ways I didn’t know were possible, friendships, collaborations, successes, and failures.
April 19th officially marked ten years of self-employment.
What I became was never on any vision board
When I left that job, my only plan was to be a freelance website developer and hopefully make enough to replace the salary and benefits package I was giving up. Really, I just wanted to be in control of my time and my life.
And while I was technically a small business owner (a classic “solopreneur”), running a business wasn’t anywhere on my goals list — I didn’t even understand that could be a thing.
There’s a lot of evolution that can happen over a decade when you’re open to the lessons. Luckily, I was willing to make mistakes, find coaches and collaborators to support me, and ask myself questions that took me deeper into the journey.
I love being a business owner and leader. I love the strange blend of business and technology strategy I do with clients while at the same time holding the space for who they are becoming and taking care of who they truly are.
Honestly, I’ve always struggled with long-term visions and planning. I tell people I can plan for a year but really only can see about 3-6 months into the future. But I stay in relationship to the ever-shifting vision; I feel into it regularly so I can adapt and maneuver and grow.
Get off other people’s timelines and ditch their goals
One of the best lessons I’ve picked up in the last 10 years is the ability to detach from other people’s timelines and goals.
This is no easy feat for any of us. Society fills us with a lot of noise about what we ought to achieve: 7 figures per year, 100k followers, exponential revenue or team growth to land you on some “fastest growing” list.
You are on your own timeline.
Honor your instincts. Move at a pace that feels right to you. Make your own goals and define what success looks like for you.
It’s your life and your business.
You may grow it and sell it in 2 years or 15 years. You may get funding or self-funding. You may build a team or hire employees or have an assistant. There’s no right or wrong way to do it.
Bask in the celebrity of end credits
One of the best things about the last 10 years is the gratitude — and the way people say thank you. I still get excited when I see my name in the end credits of a book.
Some of my favorite end credit appearances:
On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to An Extraordinary Life of Meaning & Success by Tanya Dalton
I think I may be most flattered by this end credit appearance because it was from a dear friend given to a friend — in an amazing book. Tanya happens to be a client now too (check out her awesome website), but we built a friendship first and that means everything.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
I’ve had the pleasure of working with Brené and her team for 9 years. My favorite thing about all of them: they walk their talk. It’s an honor to be a little part of what they’re doing in this world. (And go take the Wholehearted Inventory, which we built for the 10th Anniversary edition of the book.)
Awaken Your Genius: Escape Conformity, Ignite Creativity, and Become Extraordinary by Ozan Varol
Ozan is a rocket scientist turned law professor turned author and speaker. I loved his first book Think Like a Rocket Scientist (we bonded over a shared background in physics and astrophysics) and he’s also one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I’m always excited to see what he’s working on next. (Go subscribe to his newsletter — they’re great.)
Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything by Alex Carter
When I first met Columbia law professor Alex Carter, she was still working on the manuscript for what would become Ask for More. Alex is a real champion for people, and her energy is both grounded and infectious. (Go listen to some of her past media appearances — there are gems everywhere.)
Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women by Kate Northrup
Kate and her husband Mike Watts are a dream team to work with — and we’ve been working together for 7 or 8 years. They’re kind and I love that behind-the-scenes Kate is the same person you see on social media. Kate’s work is also special: she encourages women to honor their bodies and their time and rediscover their inner guide. (Her current program, Relaxed Money, is getting people great results, which is what it’s all about.)
The next 10 years
Between friends here, when I realized I was coming up on my 10-year mark, my first reaction was “I haven’t done enough” and “others have done more in a decade than I have”. The latter is true, but the first is a lie.
The best thing you can do in a decade is not make more money or achieve some outward measures of success everyone tells you to chase after; the best thing you can do is find your way back to your truest self. You grow. You learn. You adapt. You lead.
Even before I was struck with the significance of this date, I’ve been feeling the pull towards a new level for myself, a new way of operating and sharing my talents. That’s what’s on the horizon now.
We’ll see how the journey unfolds.
Celebrating this decade with you!!